Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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