I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
