Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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