were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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