But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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