just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
