Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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