Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
