it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
