You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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