So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
