Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
