just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
