Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
