By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
