his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
