He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We're too hungover to prance.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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