I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
