I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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