sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also, beer. Big fan.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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