dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
