if i died would you start the facebook group?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
