Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
