You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
