when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
