I wish my penis had an off switch
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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