She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i think i just lost a toe
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
