ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
