Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
