Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
