i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
