Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
