In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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