I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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