so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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