I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
