Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
