I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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