my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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