did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize