there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
