My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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