he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
