This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
