On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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