so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
