before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize