Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
