plz talk dirty to me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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