I wanna bring you to show and tell
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Drunk walkin through police station. America
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
