i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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