is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Watching her eat just hurts me
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
