Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
