yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
