Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
