I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
