I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
