Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
