physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
