There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
