Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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