dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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