OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
