So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
