Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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